Sunday, April 27, 2014

27th Apr

A woman playing golf, hit a man near by. 

He put his hands together between his legs, fell on ground & rolled around in pain. 

She rushed to him, and offered to relieve his pain as she was a doctor.

 Reluctantly he agreed. She gently took his hands away, unzipped his pant & put her hands inside. She massaged tenderly for a few minutes & asked "How does it feel??? 

He replied "Feels gr8, but I still think my THUMB is broken"
For election in tamil nadu Erection can wait,Election cannot!

Use your finger wisely

- Sunny Leone

Dedicated to All the Logic in the World....

There were two sisters....

One of them was known as
Sister Mathematical (SM)
& the other one was known as
Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the house.

SM : Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes ?
I wonder what he wants.

SL : It's logical.
He wants to rape us.

SM : Oh, no !
At this rate he will reach us in 4 minutes at the most !
What can we do?

SL : The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.....

SM : It's not working.

SL : Of course it's not working.
The man did the only logical thing.
He started to walk faster, too.

SM : So, what shall we do?
At this rate he will reach us in 2 minutes.

SL : The only logical thing we can do is split.
You go that way & I'll go this way.
He cannot follow us both.

Man follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the house and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then within few minutes Sister Logical arrives.

SM : Sister Logical !
Thank God you are here !
Tell me what happened ??

SL : The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both,
so he followed Me

SM : Yes, yes !
But what happened then?

SL : The only logical thing happened.
I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM : And ?

SL : The only logical thing happened.
He reached me.

SM : Oh, dear !
What did you do ?

SL : The only logical thing to do.
I lifted my dress up.

SM : Oh, Sister !
What did the Man do?

SL : The only logical thing to do.
He pulled down his pants.

SM :Oh, no !
What happened next ?

SL : Isn't it logical, Sister ?
A Girl with her dress up can run faster than Man with his pants down !



Please  be Logical not Calculative...!!! 
PpTHIS ONE IS..AWWSMM.. I can BET..ladies are gonna LUVVV this one !!


A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burnt.

The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too
skinny.

So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor
felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.

The Doctor and wife promised to the man  that they would tell no one about where the skin came from.

After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his baby
face!

One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice.

He said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for
everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"

My darling," she replied, "I get all the thanks I need
every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."


Impact of Job Change

During the travel taxi passenger touched driver on his shoulder to ask something ..
Driver screamed, lost control of car, went up on footpath & stopped few centimeters from a shop.
Passenger apologized n said : "I dint realise dat a little touch would scare u so much"
Driver replied : sorry its not ur fault, its my 1st day as a cab driver, i ve been driving a van carrying dead bodies from last 25 years....

MALE LOGIC

Woman:
Do you drink beer?

Man: Yes

Woman:
How many beers a day?

Man:
Usually about 3

Woman:
How much do you pay per beer?

Man: Rs. 300 which includes a tip

Woman:
And how long have you been drinking?

Man:
About 20 years, I suppose

Woman:
So a beer costs Rs. 300 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at Rs. 27,000. In one year, it would be approximately Rs. 3,24,000 …correct?

Man:
Correct

Woman:
If in 1 year you spend Rs. 3,24,00 , not accounting for inflation, the past
20 years puts your spending at Rs. 64,80,000 correct?

Man:
Correct

Woman:
Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?

Man:
Do you drink beer?
..
Woman:
No

Man:
Where’s your Ferrari?

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